The Violet Burning
by blurr
Summary: Relena has entered into a political marriage to Quatre without realizing the dark, violent sexual behavior lurking beneath her husband's friendly demeanor. Heero, knowing Relena better than anyone else, can tell something is wrong. Dark. Mature themes.
1. Part One

_**Me. No. Own. Gundam Wing. **_

*I wrote this story years, and years ago, on a lovely a lovely website called blissful ignorance under the pen name of 'Shevey'. I just recently rediscovered my story, and decided to take it up again.

_warning_: If you love adorable, sweet friendly Quatre, then it's probably not best to read this story. He isn't adorable, sweet or friendly here.

* * *

***

**The Violet Burning**

Part One- by blurr

***

And dull it was. Soft music- loud expressions. The battlefield of politicians: the ballroom. The sky hung unusually high, clad with angels, clouds and Saints that don't hear. I almost fell into a prayer but instead I held my head high and relied on the painkillers to kick in at any moment.

Heero had made his way to a table where Wufie and Sally were sitting. He hadn't said much more in the car other than get out, and don't drink too much. It was his usual farewell. I smiled at him, provoking a small one of his own before I gave him a peck on the cheek and a 'thanks for the ride'. He had become use to my actions and physical expressions of friendship, and though he was the master of a monotone output, inwardly I'm sure he didn't mind. He was after all a friend.

"I thought I told you to wear light blue." Every nerve stiffened as hot breath met my bare neck. A hard kiss met my shoulder and I almost screamed but the hand bruising my upper arm kept my mouth shut.

Quatre turned me around, gently with force so no one would notice and plastered on his usual smile. "All the other wives are dressed in pale colors and your clad in black. What is it with you these days Miss Relena?"

His grip tighten coaxing a small groan to escape my lips. He started to sway and I realized we were on the dance floor. The music was droning- I closed my eyes as he pulled me into sway. "All the other wives are out making conversations while your standing alone. Being a political leader's wife has responsibilities." I felt sick. The saints painted on the walls didn't help.

"I'm a political leader too. You have no right-"

"No. You're just a face." Abruptly he pulled back breaking the dance and started to clap with the rest of the room. The song was over.

At that moment an older man who owned a wealthy business that sold radiators handed Quatre and I a glass of wine, which, without fail provoked Quatre to fall into his act. "Ah, Sir Corwin, how are you tonight?"

"Ah, Quatre, as good as any old man can be." He laughed, and at the instance I fell in love with him. "And Miss Relena, you are looking more beautiful each day." The short chubby man took my hand in his and kissed the surface. I realized then that Quatre had never kissed my hand before, and somehow that hurt.

I watched quietly as the two conversed. From the outside, Quatre looked like your average gentleman. Dressed in a black suit with a black necktie, his hair was neatly brushed to the side and he smell of sweet spice. Nowhere did he give an inch of the true horror inside. He was the perfect man. And I was the perfect wife.

"How is Mrs. Corwin." I asked, jumping into the conversation to break the torment of my mindless thoughts.

"Pregnant I'm afraid." He shook his head and took a long sip of his wine. "Sixth one. Can you believe that?"

Quatre laughed. "Count yourself lucky. Relena refuses to have any." No, you won't let me have any. The old man patted my shoulder with a sympathetic smile. "You're a smart lady Relena. You're young. You have plenty of time."

"If you don't mind Relena and I have to discuss something."

"Of course not. Relena, I do expect a dance."

I nodded. "Of course."

And with that Quatre whisked me away to the hallway behind the ballroom. He seemed outraged. I closed my eyes to keep myself from getting dizzy. He was showing all the signs he usually did before he would hit me.

Taking a look around, I noticed Heero still sitting at the table just in sight of the doorway. I prayed quickly for his attention, and to my surprise his eyes met mine. Quatre was rambling on about disobedience and responsibilities when Heero, too far to hear nodded and made his way through the crowd. Distracted by Heero's slow arrival I didn't notice when Quatre had gotten so close to me.

"Have you been eating?" He took my chin into his hand.

I blinked. "What?"

"You look fat. Perhaps it how you have your hair done. Have you been making yourself throw up after you eat?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "What? I-"

"Well start." He looked wild. "You have responsibilities Relena. You need to have the outward image of a wife."

"Just because I am your wife-" I was muted by the sound of a slap. It took a moment to still my inward emotion before I realized it was I who was slapped.

"You are my wife. You will act like it for now on." Before I could protest his lips were on mine hard. I felt raped. And it wasn't the first time. Please God, no. His hand found my breast; his tongue seduced my own in force surrender. I felt disgusted. Repulsed. Quatre' pressed me hard against the wall. He tasted of wine.

"They have hotels you know."

Heero.

Quatre pulled back, automatically smiling. "With a wife as beautiful as mine, why wait?"

Heero didn't say anything. Hastily, I wiped away a few tears trying to ignore Heero's eyes on me. "Are you okay?" His monotone drone surprised me.

"She'll be fine. Probably just surprised at my desire. Hey, thanks for giving my girl a ride." Quatre snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to his frame. I couldn't meet Heero's eyes, and instead I focused on his necktie.

"No problem." Heero murmured. He stepped closer to me, his look questioning. I wanted to tell him right there what I had been keeping inside for the last couple of months. I wanted to scream that I didn't love my husband but instead, I stood numb against Quatre's frame.

My stomach folded neatly as Heero reached out to touch the sting in my cheek. "Your face is red." His finger traced down to my jaw. I shut my eyes briefly savoring his touch.

"I must be getting hot flashes. I don't feel well." I wanted to cry.

"Hn." He didn't look convinced. "Have you eaten?"

"Oh she has." Quatre answered for me. I felted starved but didn't say anything. Quatre, still smiling, broke the scene. "I should be taking you home sweetheart. I just have to use the restroom first. Enjoy the party Heero."

"I will." Heero pulled back, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Goodnight Relena."

"Goodnight." Thank you.

Quatre basically threw me down the hall after Heero left. "Get into the bathroom."

I wasn't going to give in. "No." Rebelling? No, call it reality on the rocks. It wasn't until he ran a hand through his blonde locks before I felt my stomach knot up in fear. It wouldn't be the first time he would hit me, nor the last.

But instead, he looked calm and retreated to what hurt more than any handprint. "He doesn't love you." I slid down the wall and stared blankly at the floor. I lost. "You know that right? He will never love you."

He locked the door but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I felt numb as his lips took mine. I felt his finger trace the scar he left on my inner thigh before I felt his penetration. He pinned my arms back above my head- he was mad.

"Please, Quatre-" I started to scream as his want pushed in me but he held my mouth shut with his hands.

"You are my wife. Say you love me."

I felt drugged. "I love you." The ache inside me raped my senses. This wasn't right. The feel of him on me, in me, pushing against me made me want to vomit. This can't be right. I gripped his shoulders harder with each push. He moaned against my neck as wave took me be surprise.

Abruptly, he pulled away. "Get up. We're leaving."

I couldn't meet his eyes but instead caught the glimpse of a broken girl in the mirror. Somewhere, I could imagine a saint crying for me.

****

The night purred slowly. From the party, to the bathroom, to the car and then the doorway, Quatre completely owned my body. I felt dirty. Sick, but empty. He would sleep off and on, pulling me in and out of his world. I could always tell when he was awake- his hand would move down, slowly past my waist until what was mine became his in slow caress. Was this what marriage was? A possession?

It's true; I hadn't wanted to marry Quatre. I always had my eyes on Heero. I would probably had admitted to myself I was in love with him if Quatre didn't offer a 'political-marriage' for the betterment of the people. Polls show the people identify couples rather than singles…Like Quatre said in the bathroom, Heero doesn't love me. I was all but happy to oblige to Quatre's offer- only to meet the God of Hell himself soon afterwards.

He wasn't crazy. Or at least I didn't think so. I knew he had postwar crap going through his head, but whatever he went through- is it enough to rape your wife? He had a control issue. I was a plaything.

I kept face though. No one knew anything. Last night was the closet to anyone seeing the darkness within the blonde. Heero would be smart though and leave the issue alone.

I felt a finger trace the outline of my panties, dipping under and then out.

"You smell so good." He whispered into my neck. I only closed my eyes and tried to ignore the finger dipping lower and lower each time. "You want me too?" His finger barely brushed against my sensitive area causing my breath to waver. "So warm Relena."

Quatre started to push up against me when the phone rung causing him to pull back and curse slightly. I wanted to cry as his cheerful voice answered the phone. I heard him converse with the attendant on the other end without paying attention.

The click of the phone caused me to meet his gaze. "I have to go."

I nodded. "I'll be back tonight though. Don't make me dinner. I'll eat out."

I nodded.

He sat on the bed, his look serious. I could almost make out a sensible creature but I was surprise to find that I didn't want to.

His thumb rubbed my lower lip- I could smell myself on him. "I love you."

"I know." My chest felt heavy, a burning spreading down to my gut.

He nodded this time, before kissing my forehead. I tucked myself back under the sheets as he went about dressing himself. I didn't bother to ask him where or what he was doing. Frankly I didn't care.

When I heard the door click shut I could finally sleep.

*****

"What do you mean?"

Wufie shrugged. "I mean, you should take a bigger interest in your career and think about signing on."

I took a swig of the Chinese oolong tea, finding peace in the fact that there was too much sweet n low. Wufie was disgusted with my desire to sweeten tea beyond recognition.

Wufie looked sharp, I had to admit it. I was surprised when he had called me up asking me out for lunch to go over an offer from the Preventors. We picked a random Chinese restaurant halfway in-between both our offices and met shortly after the phone call.

"I told you Wufie, I want nothing to do with weapons." I saw the need for them however. Quatre insisted that we hold peace by words- his days of the gundams were over. Mention the word and he would go on a rage tantrum.

He sighed. "Look, I told you. We don't fight Relena, we prevent. You know, hence the name. Preventors."

"Clever." Huh, imagine that. I never made the connection before. "Right, not the point. I would need to discuss the matter with Quatre anyhow. You know how he is when it comes to anything that deals with weapons." I took a bite of his fried tofu, enjoying the amused frown he gave.

"So, off of work discussions-- how is your husband?" He leaned back into his chair.

"Great." The reply was automatic. It came out slightly sharper than I intended. Wufie knew to keep it at that. "And you and Sally?"

He shook his head. "No, pure assumption there. We're just friends. Nothing more. I find women distracting." I took another piece of his tofu surprised to find this time he really didn't mind.

I laughed. "Right, distracting. That's what we were made for. Perhaps you are distracting her, keeping pent up sexual tension." He smiled at that, but suddenly his eyes looked distant. Something was on his mind.

He paused, leaned forwards for effect I'm sure, and had a serious feature. "Heero's been acting different since the L2 Peace Ball." Ah. The night where Quatre's ego took control. Again. What happen to Heero that night? I was, how did Wufie put it? Distracted.

"Did he say anything?" The Chinese man shook his head no. "That's odd. Interesting, he hasn't said anything to me I assure you. I hope he is all right. He usually tells me everything but he has been unusually busy lately."

Wufie glanced down at his blinking pager. A frown creased his forehead, painting thin vertical lines. "That would be Sally. I better get going." He looked up again, smiling a rare smile he had. "Think the offer over. Preventors want to back you up Miss Relena."

I felt my heart freeze as he used the common name Quatre used for me. He hadn't noticed the tense thrill that tighten my back muscles. Instead he only brushed a few strands behind my ear.

"We should get together again. Hopefully pleasure not business." His kiss on my cheek snapped me out of my zone. I smiled dimly.

"Of course." I murmured. "Have a great day Wufie."

"You too friend."

I raised my eyebrow. "Of course I will. You're paying."

I took another swig of the tea as Wufie muttered something about women on his way to the register. I felt the dilemma rising slowly. Wufie was right. The people who were so determined to tear down everything we worked on were getting more violent each day. We needed the Preventors. Quatre wouldn't hear anything of it, if I were to do it behind his back there would be nothing he could do but keep face.

But then again, I was his wife. Could I do that to him?

*****

"Relena?" The hair on my back stood on ends when I heard the front door open. "Relena? I'm home."

I finished washing my face and stuck my head out the bathroom door. Quatre stood, looking simply adorable with one hand in his hair and the other in his pocket. It's funny how he can seem so harmless. He saw me, a slow smile spreading at recognition.

"How was your day?"

I shrugged and walked into the room with him. He seemed tired; hopefully then he would leave my body at rest tonight. But I was on a mission.

"I have a million things to do. Have you eaten dinner? I have some left over from the restaurant." He held up a foil swan.

I took his jacket for him and hung it over the chair. "Actually I had a pretty big lunch with Wufie."

Wrong thing to say. Quatre's eyes clouded over before he spoke calmly, "You had lunch with Wufie?"

I nodded.

"Ah," he smiled grimly, "A big lunch you say. Did we not establish the fact that you're gaining too much weight? You need to think about these things Relena. I can't be there to hand feed you proper portions."

"I made myself throw it up. I thought that would make it okay." I lied. I was surprised he was more upset with the food than the fact I ate alone with Wufie. He seemed to trust me. He changed instantly, smiling like he did on camera. He could be beautiful, perhaps he was. . I thought I would go with the flow, if I could get him to a "happy" state, then perhaps I could address the Preventors' issue with him. With my mind made up, I started to loosen his tie- like a good wife. His eyes were set on my lips. Slowly, he ducked down and took them with his own.

"Quatre, not in here." I murmured, slowly dying inside.

"No, right here is fine." I fought the repulse rising inside as his hand slipped under my white t-shirt. "No bra? Expecting this did you?"

I nodded hazily. His kisses were hard, bruising.

I wanted him to think I needed this to fill his ego.

"Please, Quatre," I moaned, a sound distant from my own ears. He responded to the request and pulled down both my shorts and underwear together. I put my hands on his head. "Please…" I had to force the word out.

When he entered me, I thought of Heero- I know it was odd to think of him in this position. But I couldn't help but wonder would he be a selfish lover like Quatre, or would he be different? I would imagine all the ex-pilots had demurred minds.

Quatre kissed me hard before pulling away and picking up the thrown clothes. "I love you." This can't be love.

I pulled him back, my hand resting on the curve of his back. "Quatre, Wufie had a offer concerning the Preventors and security."

"No." His reply was quick. To the point actually. He was never one to beat around the bush. I felt a cry coming but instead nodded numbly. I responded to his touch in vain as he pushed me towards the bedroom. I saw no need to give in, now that he refused the topic entirely, and instead just let him have his way with my body without response.

He touched me an object that he owned.

After all, that's all I am.

*****

"Heero?" I opened the door to his apartment slowly, checking to see if there was anything out of place. "Heero are you home?" I shut the door quietly behind me and waited for any sign of life. In the next room I could hear the hum of the kettle steaming- so he had to be here.

"Heero?" I yelled, this time much louder.

"In here." The reply came from the next room. Relieved, I took off my coat and left it on the hook by his door. It amazed me how comfortable and familiar I was with his place. Home away from home really.

He look good, sitting in just a t-shirt and sweat pants on his couch. He seemed slightly pale, and dark rings were surfacing just barely under his eyes. I could see he wasn't feeling well, but he looked captivating. "Hi." I said softly. He nodded his acknowledgement. "Are you sick?"

"Something like that." I sat next to him, pulling my knees to my chest. The curtain on his window left a sufficient enough crack to allow some light in. The way the light played with his features made him seem oddly beautiful. The whistler of the kettle tilted reality back into place and I smiled.

Before he could say anything I offered. "I'll get that."

Moving around his kitchen seemed natural. I pour the hot liquid into a simple white mug. Measuring out the dry leaves from several different kinds, I put a little of each in. As long as I knew Heero he never had any pattern when it came to taste.

"Here."

He arched an eyebrow with the first sip. "What kind is this?"

I laughed. "A little of everything. I didn't know what you wanted so I made them all in one."

He smirked. "Are women always so indecisive."

"Basically." I ran a hand through his hair, a simple gesture to comfort. He closed his eyes and I could tell he was in a lot of pain. We sat like that for who knows how long, His hair was always fascinating to me- wild and uncontrolled.

Heero and I had a complicated friendship. I knew my boundaries and the limits, but I seemed to cross them often. He was use to my physical touch- and I could tell he really didn't mind. Everyone needs to be loved, right? I wanted to imagine he was mine to love but I couldn't get pulled to far from reality.

So instead, aftertime the shadows moved across the wall, I kissed his temple slowly before pulling him next to me. "What hurts?"

His eyes caught mine and I felt myself my mouth go dry. "Are you happy?"

The question threw me off. Happy? "Of course." Even I could hear the fake implications. "I mean, we all have our bad days but I'm genuinely happy."

He nodded. "Happy with Quatre?"

No. "Of course." I felt the need to blink back the moisture forming.

"That's all I need to know." I felt as if I was missing something but I would leave it at that.

"I should go Heero." I kissed him again, his forehead this time and gave him one last smile.

"Thank you." I knew he was sincere.

"I'll bring you soup tomorrow." He nodded and that's was all that needed to be said. Leaving his apartment, I felt as though I was leaving my soul.

*****

I felt the rawness of my state of being.

Quatre's hot breath tickled down my neck. The sensation caused me to close my eyes. His hands on my skin made my heart beat faster in fear. Why couldn't he see I didn't want this? Quatre didn't mind my slight protest when I tried to pull away but instead he smiled as he pulled me back into his form hard.

He had come home early for work. Unfortunately for me, I was getting out of the shower and had nothing on but a towel. The moment I saw him I saw he was slightly crazed. He looked mad. He was cursing when I noticed he had a bottle in his hand. I felt my throat go dry. Quatre wasn't a nice drunk.

When he saw me standing in the hall, the anger, the alcohol and desire surfaced. He grabbed me, pulled me with him to the couch, and so here I was. His hand trailed up the end of the towel but I merely pushed his hand away.

"Quatre you've had too much to drink." I pointed out the obvious.

"Ah but Miss Relena, it helps burn out the memory of my day." His words were slurred to a dangerous degree. Perhaps he had more intake than I thought.

"Do you want to talk about your day?"

His answer was muted as he talked into my neck but it was clear enough that he didn't want to. I didn't have time for an afternoon fling on the couch. I had plans to go to Heero's place and bring him soup

"You smell so good." I winced as his hand found its place on my inner thigh. His hand felt cold against my hot thigh. "So soft."

"Quatre I have somewhere I need to be."

He didn't listen. "Are you going to take off that towel or am I going to have to?"

I felt anger and panic surface and tilt in my brain.

"No, Quatre, listen to me, I need to be somewhere. We can do this later." I'm sure we would. Quatre pulled back with a mad look. He slapped me before he straddled my hips.

"You are my wife. Therefore you need to give in to my needs."

I started to cry, I couldn't help it. "What about my needs?"

His hands were bruising.

"Aren't you going to get it? No one cares about your needs Relena. No one loves you but me."

I didn't have time to think before he pulled me and started to push me towards the bedroom. I couldn't stand the thought of him touching me intimate again so I struggled more than I usually did. It only resulted with him pulling me down to the floor in the hallway.

"Please Quatre, let me go."

"No."

His hand cupped my breast harder than I appreciated. His nails dug in to my skin and I could feel the sting. His hand raped my skin. I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything else but Quatre's lips were drugging my mind. I could feel myself being detached completely from the towel but I was to the point where I didn't really care.

When I finally opened them again I could see blood surfacing where his nail marks were. I wanted to protest, scream, anything but lips took mine in a struggle. I felt him enter me from behind. I put my hand on the wall to steady myself. I wanted to pray but couldn't create any thoughts with him pushing in and out of me. His hands dug into my hips as he created a rhythm. The wall was pressed up to my front, and the burn of the carpet was agonizing.

I bit back tears and wondered what it would feel like to make love to someone. Not just someone, the one.

"Oh God Relena." His hands were nearly choking me. I could barely breathe.

He spilled into me and I absently wondered if I would get pregnant. He would beat me then, claim it was my fault. Mostly likely he'd force me get an abortion despite how against it I was.

His breathing was heavy, his touch became gentle.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

How could he say that? I felt cold tears again my flushed cheeks. His kisses were soft, his hands soothing. I felt the towel being pulled around me once again. He got up, ran a hand through his hair.

I wanted to see guilt, grief, anything. Instead I saw a fully satisfied man. He was mad. Sick. He had no idea what he was doing to me.

"I need to go back to the office." And with that, he left me sprawled out on the floor in the hall, blood dripping from the cuts on my thighs.

I used the walls to help me up, trying to hold the towel as best I could. My head pounded, my body felt robbed. I didn't pay him any attention but instead made my way to get back into the shower.

*****

"Something happened."

I glanced up at Heero who sat with a mug of soup between his hands next to his lips. He looked paler from the day before and his eyes were darker that I had seen before. His look was heavy and I felt my heart ache for his internal pain. I ignored his comment and decided clean up a little around his apartment. It wasn't too bad- I just needed something to distract myself.

"Are you feeling better?"

I felt the need for light talk. He realized to drop the topic and shrugged. I held back a laugh as he winced when he took a sip of the bitter brew.

"What is this?"

"I don't know." I responded offhand while filling the kitchen sink up with warm soapy water. "Wufie bought me it when I was having stomach problems. He said it helps with just everything. Trust me, its heaven in a liquid form."

"Stomach pains? You mean when you had ulcers."

That brought back memories.

It was right after Quatre and I got married. Everyone blamed the ulcer and acid reflex from stress that they assumed came from work. However I just beginning to realize the hell I was married into.

I pulled up my sleeves and began to do what God made women to do. Wash away. The thought made me smile. It wasn't an anti-feminist thought. I loved being Heero's helper. It was my greatest joy.

Heero stood up, wavered for a moment, and then found his balance. He sat his empty cup down next to the sink and pulled out a drying towel from under the sink to help.

"The point is I'm here to help you get better- take care of you. You should be laying down." I pointed out, trying to pull some loose strands of hair with my arm considering my hands were full of soap.

He didn't respond but took the liberty to brushing them behind my hair. His touch was so different from Quatre's controlling fingers. I kept myself from closing my eyes and savoring the moment. Instead I was determined to focus entirely on the dishes but Heero's closeness made me feel dizzy. His hand encircled my wrist and pulled up my arm from his convenience.

I felt the moment he noticed. His body became tense and hard. His breathing stopped.

"What happen?" his voice was low and deadly. I felt shivers skip across my back.

I glanced down at the raw skin. In the shower after Quatre had his way with me in the hall, I felt the need to wash off his touch, his smell. To clean my dirt that seeped through the skin. I remembered crying and scrubbing until blood started to surface.

"I wasn't paying attention to how hard I was washing myself in the shower." It wasn't a lie.

He didn't look convinced. His eyes looked so inviting to share. I wanted to cry, let him comfort me. Tell me Quatre would never touch me again. But knowing Heero I doubted he knew the formula to comfort.

"Something happened Relena." He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him squarely. "I know you."

The way he said it made it hard to breathe. I knew he was right- he could see right through me every time.

"I-" Oh God, "He-"

His eyebrow burrowed together and I could see the concern written clearly. "He? He who? Relena who hurt you?"

"I should go." I needed to get away. But Heero wouldn't let go and shook his head no. Something inside me broke and I cried for the loss of my being. Heero looked taken aback. Almost like he didn't know what to do with me. He had never seen me like this before. I never allowed him to.

I felt him awkwardly pull one arm around my shoulder and pull me into his chest. The hesitation was obvious but I didn't care. I grabbed on to him and cried. I knew this would cause even more concern and questions but I didn't care. The man I was in love with would take care of me like he promised before I got married.

_"Relena?"_

_I glanced over the former pilot who was leaning against the wall by my window. I sat in bed and pulled the blankets closer to my chest. I knew why he was here. "I guess you heard."_

_He nodded and made his way to the bed. "Duo told me. Will you be happy?"_

_His concern for my happiness was always an obsession of his. I watched him watch me- a favorite pass time- and nodded slowly. Sure I would be. Quatre was a good man; the marriage would be a good icon and perhaps buy me another term in office. So if it was all so perfect how come I longed not for the blonde's love but the man sitting next to me?_

_"Things will be different." He said slowly. I knew what he meant. This. Him. Me. Our friendship. No one really knew how close we really were. He smiled ironically, almost painfully. "I don't think Quatre would appreciate me coming in at night to talk to his wife."_

_His wife. I felt moisture forming. "Nothing will change. I promise. Your still my best friend."_

_"He'll protect you."_

_I felt panic. "No. What do you mean? Heero-"_

_He shook his head no. "It's his job Relena."_

_"Stop being silly. It's your job. You promised me and I swear I will have your head on my wall if you let anything happen to me. Best friends don't ditch each other because of a little bit of change."_

_He sighed, defeated. "Fine. Mission accepted,, keep my head off your wall."_

_I laughed. "I do believe you just told a joke Mr. Yuy."_

_He merely shrugged. "I need to go."_

_He kissed my forehead and I felt my heart break. My lover was leaving and I was being given over to someone else. I knew despite my declaration of nothing would change, this would be our last midnight meeting. But somehow I slept better knowing he would always be there to keep me safe._

"Relena?"

I blinked, slowly drifting to the present. I had stopped crying and Heero had a washcloth soaked in something.

"This will hurt."

He slowly dabbed it on my arm but the pain didn't compared to the wall breaking inside. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful he looked. I smiled at the irony of him taking care of me when I was here to take care of him.

"Did he," he paused unsure of himself, "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"Yes." I noticed how cold, how dead my voice sounded. I didn't intend it to be that way. "I have some cuts on my upper legs."

His eyes darkened and I could see the anger.

"I know you'll protest but you need to trust me."

I knew what he was getting at. He led me to the living room and I undid my skirt revealing the red lines on my hips and inner thighs. I felt uncomfortable, his eyes on my body, but I trusted him. Instead of going straight to work like I expected Heero pulled me into his hard body and ran a hand through my hair. His touch was intoxicating.

He pulled back, aware of himself and gestured towards the couch. I sat down as he sat on the coffee table.

"Is this okay?"

He asked, one hand on the outside of my thigh. I nodded and spread my legs to give him enough room. I never noticed the sting, just his gentle touch as he softly rubbed the washcloth over the deep cuts. His eyes were narrowed as he worked and I felt my uneasiness fade.

"When did this happen Relena?" Despite his gentle touch his voice was hard and emotionless.

The words left my mouth before I could comprehend their indications, "Which time?"

His touch stopped and his eyes caught mine.

*****

It was like a violet burning, I decided, when he touched me.

His hand on my skin was beautiful but like all good fruits, forbidden. When the situation had come into full perspective, Heero was lost for words and simply couldn't stop holding me. Something quite out of his character. We sat on the couch for hours; his hand on the small curve of my back while his other arm pulled my bare legs up against him. I could feel him watching me but I couldn't meet his gaze.

Inwardly, despite how much I washed my skin raw, I felt the dirt seep into my pores. I couldn't help but indulge in the shame. Before the sun's shadow went from one side to the room to the other, Heero had called Quatre and explained to him that he needed me to work late to draft a new security layout for the office. To my surprise he also said I would be home in the morning. Despite everything, Quatre trusted me, and more importantly, trusted Heero.

And so here we were.

Heero was never good with physical emotion. The way his hand awkwardly stroked my back first gave me the impression that it was just Heero struggling to show comfort. But as I thought more about it, perhaps he was aware of my shame as well. Perhaps he couldn't stand the thought of me? Did he think I never told anyone about my sexual abuse because I enjoyed it?

But as I think about it, why didn't I tell anyone? And then the answer was so clear. Quatre.

He sat on the bed, his look serious. I could almost make out a sensible creature but I was surprise to find that I didn't want to. His thumb rubbed my lower lip- I could smell myself on him. "I love you."

"I know." I felt my heart break.

He nodded this time, before kissing my forehead. Quatre loved me. Even though he's crazy, can't control himself but seems to have a control freak over me, he loved me.

But didn't Heero also love me? Ah, but not in the same way I suppose.

"Why don't you trust me?" Heero said quietly, snapping me out of my ponderings.

This time I did meet his stare. He was beautiful. Heero Yuy was a beautiful man. His dark unruly hair, the depth of his eyes, the arch of his brows, the thin lines that made smooth, hard lips, his chest and arms were fully developed and curved and the way his chest rose with every breath was too much.

"What?"

"Why don't you trust me?" His hand stopped it's rhythmic movement on my back. "Why didn't you tell me you were being raped daily?"

It was a harsh choice of words, but true.

"Who, Relena?"

"Who?" I felt dazed.

He traced the raw patterns on my arms with his finger.

"Who hurt you?" When I didn't respond he continued in his own vocal thoughts. "I don't understand how Quatre never noticed anything. Didn't he see you were in pain?"

"It's hard to see when your-" I stopped.

"When who what?" He knew I was so close to spilling the truth. I resented him for a moment, his way to get anything he wanted from me. Why was I such a weak woman?

"Heero, it's hard to tell when you're the one inflicting-" I stopped. I felt Heero freeze up. "I should go." I prayed he wouldn't realize what I was trying to say.

I started to get up when Heero's deadly voice stopped me. "Quatre?"

I turned, blocking the sun's path from Heero's face. He stood up too. The look in his eyes scared me but I pushed it aside- I knew it wasn't directed towards me. He seemed outraged but confused. Sure, I could understand. It is hard to picture Quatre in his true nature.

"What do you mean? Quatre's my husband." I smiled at good length. God, even I knew ho pathetic and weak I sounded. I couldn't play this passive game with him.

He seemed to growl in anger. "That doesn't mean anything Relena." He held me by the shoulders hard. "Has Quatre ever touch you in a harmful way?"

"So what if he likes it rough?" I felt tears surfacing and my anger carried me away. "I mean, I'm his wife, right? It's my duty, isn't it? Just to let him have his way with me every night? I mean, isn't it duty? So what if he doesn't care that I'm already raw, if it hurts and I told him no, so what if he scares the hell out of me, so what?" I slumped back to the couch and cried. "He's my husband and he loves me."

I could feel Heero's hesitation before he sat next to me, pulling me up against him once again. He didn't say anything comforting, mumbled sweet promises or even threaten Quatre. He simply just sat, with me ruining his shirt with my mascara. Somehow, just him doing what was in him to do was more comforting than any display of affection.

After the room had darkened quite a bit, and a few traces of stars could be detected, Heero pulled away and prepared some tea before coming back. I felt bad I wasn't the one taking care of him. I had completely forgot that he hadn't been feeling well. He sat the tea in front of me on the coffee table, as well as his own. He also brought a pair of his sweatpants and sweatshirt.

"For you to wear to bed." He said, answering my thoughts. At my questioning glance, he continued. "You're not going back Relena."

His voice was firm and confirming. I would have protested but he had already given Quatre a sufficient enough reason for my absence. Defeated, and almost grateful, I reached for the cup and soothed my own throat with its warmth.

"Why didn't you tell me Relena?" I could feel his breath on my check.

"He's my husband." I responded dully. "What right do I have not to respond to my husband?"

His voice was flat. "Respond sure, but being raped?" He pressed his face into my cheek. "Friend, you are worth so much more than this."

"I had no right to say no to him." I said, trying to convince myself it was nothing more than sexual difficulties. Not rape.

"Relena," His voice was gentler than before, "You always have the right to say no."

I knew he was right. He was always right. I took another sip and felt the night settle over the small room. "He loves me Heero. He's the only man I've ever known. He's the only man that finds me desirable. Why would I give all that up? For what? To be a raped whore that no one wants?"

I knew I wasn't being reasonable. Nor was my sour attitude fair. Heero had done so much for me against his personal sickness and here I was treating him rudely. "I'm sorry." I added. I was tired of this mental war.

"Why? I've never heard you so angry. It's good to know it's in there." He pulled me tighter to him. "You are wanted and loved, Relena."

I laughed at the way he said it so factual. I glanced over at, watching the way the dark glow from the window played with his features. I reached a hand over and ran it through his hair. He closed his eyes at the touch. He was lovely like then when he allowed himself to be touched. Beautiful.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"After I left your house that night Duo told me about your marriage, I got drunk for the first time. I thought things would change between us."

"I remember." I said slowly. I let my hand drift back, slowly through his tangle mass of chocolate.

"But here you are, with me, like things should be." His hand encircled my wrist, letting his thumb caress my palm. Like things should be, I thought in agreement. "Relena, I would have you."

I didn't feel so soar of magic, nor fireworks. No fuzzy tingles spreading over my gut and thighs. I merely nodded, kissed his forehead, and felt the violet burning seep further into my skin.

I reached for his hand. "Then have me friend."

His look then was more than healing, it was beautiful.

* * *

tbc.

thank you for reading and reviewing.  
hope you enjoyed.

-blurr


	2. Part Two

_**Me. No. Own. Gundam Wing. **_

_warning_: If you love adorable, sweet friendly Quatre, then it's probably not best to read this story. He isn't adorable, sweet or friendly here.

* * *

***

**The Violet Burning**

Part Two- by blurr

***

There was no way to foretell the fall. The complete listless emotion swelling in my chest and burning down my arms, finally pooling at my finger tips. I hated this, I thought. The mantra burned over and over, swirling about my mind, but I couldn't seem to get my lips to form the words.

His lips tore mine. I felt the great black night settle in his hands- grabbing at my sides with no mercy or gentleness.

I tried to whisper stop, but instead, I closed my eyes and let the pain absorb.

Blonde hair against my cheek reminded me of the man who owned me. The numbness rocked me to sleep- not a physical sleep- but instead I dreamt of some other life, in some other world, another man's hands cradling me. Keeping me safe.

Quatre's hands tore into my blouse, grabbing roughly at my chest. "Oh God, Relena." His hardness pushed inside me before he pulled back and let his hands cup me. One finger at a time he tugged and poked as I simply kept my eyes shut and prayed for any beautiful death to redeem me from this.

Where had Heero gone?

The second the thought crossed my mind, I realized everything about this was off. Wasn't I just with him?

"Relena. Relena? Wake up. Relena," Heero's rough but gentle hand brushed a few strands off my forehead. It was as though his voice grabbed a hold of me, and lifted me out of the nightmare.

I opened my eyes with all of reality setting in slowly. He sat at the end of his bed, telephone in hand. I glanced sideways at the clock and saw one am flashing brilliantly against the dark backdrop of his bedroom.

Heero pushed the telephone handle towards me. "Your husband is on the phone." His voice felt flat.

Quatre. I reached for the phone and prepared for anything. "Hello?"

"Relena, love," his voice was breathless and one great rush of energy. I felt my body relax instantly with the knowledge that he was not angry- yet. "I have some business I have to attend to darling. I know you said you would come home in the morning, but I need you here now. I have to catch the first flight at seven to the outer rim."

"I see." He wanted one last fuck before he went off playing. "I'll be home soon." Heero didn't making any movement, but I could see the disconcerting thoughts manifest themselves on his forehead in great lines. The click of the phone and the unheard goodbye from Quatre were now just of the past.

"You can't go back." His voice was final.

I shrugged. "Forget I said anything Heero. I don't have much choice. There is a lot at stake here." I wanted to cry. The violent images of my dream made me feel dizzy. I wanted to stay. I wanted Heero to keep me here- but that was foolish. Diplomatic situations rested on my marriage to Quatre. I couldn't let that go. "He's my husband and perhaps we're just having sexual problems like all marriages."

"Like hell." Heero stood up off the bed. "Like all marriages you say? Remind me then to rape my wife daily when if I get married." The cold words burned into my conscious. Heero sniffed and I was reminded of his cold. I felt awful. What a terrible time to unload such a great burden on him.

I felt as though I was moving in slow motion while a panic surge swept over. I pulled myself together as quickly as possible. Frustrated with myself, with the situation, and with the total lack of understanding for what was best, I headed for the door.

"Wait." Heero's voice made me turn around. Dear God, just let me go. "Don't think I would send you back into the lion's den." I pleaded inwardly for him to give up. The last thing I needed was for this situation to blow up and land in the mainstream. I had to go back. I had to go back now.

He sighed, crossing his arms. "I'm coming too."

In that moment I realized something. Heero Yuy was absolutely my best friend in the whole world. And while that should have brought immense comfort to me, at that moment I felt lost.

There was no way Heero would allow someone who had hurt me the chance to get away with it.

And that spelled death to my career as a politician.

***

"Heero?" Quatre looked perplexed as we both walked in the foyer. In fact, Quatre looked pretty pissed.

I kept my gaze downwards, to avoid the inevitable fight that was surely lurking around the corner. The drive over seemed to rob any hope for the situation I had left. Heero and I went back and forth, raising our voices to outmatch the other. He kept demanding me to wake up and open my eyes, to see that what was happening could not be nor would ever be ok. He was so frustrating- could he not look past me and see the greater good? An alliance between Quatre and myself meant good for everyone. Together we could yeild the power and authority, the connections to put forward our agenda- peace, freedom, quality of life for everyone. I wasn't about to let that go. I couldn't. Together, Quatre and I had a vast network, with all the resources at our fingertips.

This was bigger than myself.

Heero shoved his hands in his pocket as Quatre approached us and reached out to shake. "We weren't done going over procedures."

"Procedures?" Quatre arched an eyebrow. "Oh, yes. You must forgive me Heero," He smiled brilliantly and pulled his arm around me, the simple wife. "She has so much work going on I forget all the, procedures, as you put it. I do hope I'm not causing a huge delay. Surely you can get some of it done by yourself, can you not?"

His diplomatic smile made me feel sick.

Heero shrugged. "Very little if any. We're going over physical measures. Without Relena, everything I do is merely a brainstorm without context. These physical measures are extremely important. "

Quatre could only smirk. "And a physical women she is." I wanted to slap him. That's physical, isn't it? Would that not count? "I'm sure you can wait until the morning though."

"But her protection can't." Heero's voice was so cold and direct.

I felt as though the ground beneath us disappeared- leaving us scrambling for some sense of stability. My heart quicken, and I could not afford to glance at Quatre. Heero was stepping on egg shells at this point.

I couldn't help but notice Quatre's grip around me tighten.

"I assure you Heero, I'll keep her safe until the morning. Is there a situation I should be aware of? I thought we had an understanding that all of the security concerns should go through me as well. I want to be informed on my wife's circumstances."

"I found some bruises on her."

What? No. He didn't. He couldn't have. He promised. Without realizing it, I was looking at Quatre. The blood draining from his face told me that yes, Heero had.

Everything was falling, with this disappearing ground.

"Bruises?" He asked, quietly. His voice felt deadly to me, causing me to wince.

I felt undone.

God. Quatre was going to kill me.

"Bruises. On her arms." Heero pulled up my sleeve to show Quatre, who didn't inspect them. "She said someone had bumped into her walking in the terminal."

I had never said such thing.

Perhaps Heero was just laying out a thin foundation of warning.

If Quatre knew that someone was aware of some rough treatment towards me, he would settle down and keep low.

"Well, surely that was just an accident. You don't actually think that means there is reason to fear for her safety, do you?"

Heero shrugged, and leaned against the wall. "I'm not sure, which is precisely why we cannot not delay our work much longer. There is a lot at stake with your wife, and it is up to me to see to her safety."

Quatre finally let go of me, crossing his arms and giving Heero a long look. Finally, after a minute, Quatre's stern look grew into a smile. "I see. Well Heero, I must say. I am so thankful for your continued sense of loyalty and commitment to us. I am grateful for your friendship, as I am sure Relena is too."

"Of course" I said, breathlessly.

"I am merely keeping my promise." Heero stared at me but I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with him.

"By all means, my good friend, set up in the dining hall." Quatre patted him on the shoulder. "I just need to speak to my wife for one minute."

"If you don't mind Quatre, I told Duo that Relena would call him back right when we got here. His flight is leaving any second." Heero was always so quick. I would have been fumbling around for a reasonable excuse to keep me from being alone with Quatre.

Quatre sighed, looking defeated. "As is mine. I really do need to finish packing then."

"Relena?" Heero gestured towards the dining hall.

Detaching myself away from Quatre and following Heero felt like the most natural thing in the world. Despite my husband's glare burning into my back, I felt safe. Heero was here.

Heero was here. He was here. I felt myself smile. Heero was here.

That was all I ever needed.

***

We sat for hours.

Him there. Me here. The tea over there. Cold, I'm sure.

We never spoke. Quatre passed by here and there, finally stopping to kiss my cheek to say goodbye before his trip. Heero picked up his cell and dialed a number. I almost instinctively knew he was attempting to look busy, and that the number he called was probably no one.

Once on the cell phone, Quatre leaned closer, whispering "Behave," into my ear.

And with that, the front door clicked and he was gone leaving us to sit and stare.

Bringing us to here.

"Heero," I asked, as the shadows on the wall finally drifted into complete darkness. Night had fallen.

He looked at me then. The first time making contact with me since this morning. "Yes?"

"How long do we play this game?" I felt hopeless. "How many physical measures and briefings will we have to make sure Quatre is not alone with me? We are setting out on an impossible task."

He sighed, folding his arms and pushed back into the chair.

"Relena, do you trust me?"

Yes. Yes. Of course. "I uh- Heero, I'm just worried is all."

I couldn't afford to let him know how much I trusted him.

I thought of the night before. His touch on my bruises and cuts, cleaning, soothing the ache. His eyes catching mine.

The way he told me he would have me. He never clarified. I never asked.

He leaned forward and gestured for me to do the same. "Listen to me, I have an idea but it will require a lot of fine tuning and talents. Why do you believe you just can't pack up and walk out on Quatre this very moment?"

"Everything I've worked for will be lost." I didn't even have think. The words came out naturally, smoothly and breathlessly. "Quatre controls all my work. All my political efforts. He has all my money, records, and contacts. Without him, I am undone. You know all of this Heero, so why are you wasting my-"

"Yes. You walk out on him, and he will undo everything you've worked for. I'm not about to let that happen. Not for the people, and not for you. We have to find a way to take everything from him first. Once you have the control, you are safe to walk away. And then we can decided what to do with Quatre."

The hope in my chest tasted like metal. "It won't work, Heero."

"Do you doubt me that much?"

"I mean, if we had months, years, even just weeks, perhaps. But Heero, we only have days! Just days. When Quatre comes back the day after tomorrow we're done. We have no options left. "

"Exactly. Days." He smiled at that. "When Quatre comes back he will have nothing and no one to his name. Trust me, Relena. I can take care of this."

And with that I heard the front door open, and one very loud commotion that could only mean one thing: Duo was here.

With that thought, Duo poked his head into the dining hall. "So, let's get cooking! I need help with this fake mustache first. Something about a mustache just screams highly skilled janitor."

Duo looked my way and smiled. "Relena Peacecraft. You look more gorgeous every day. Would you care to help me attach this?"

He held up what looked to be a dead rodent, but at closer inspection proved to be just that: a fake mustache.

"Heero?" I asked slowly, looking over at him.

He didn't smile or look amused. He simply shrugged. "Haven't you heard? Duo works as a janitor over at your husband's office."

I slowly looked back over Duo, who was tucking his hair under his cap. "Guys, seriously. If you don't help me put on this mustache I will be late for work. And you know what that means? It will come out of my paycheck."

"You won't be receiving a paycheck. You have one night to collect the records from Quatre's computer." Heero said as he shuffled some papers that made up pretend briefing for Quatre's sake.

"Well shoot. One night? No pay? This economy is really taking a turn for the worse if the job market is this unstable."

"Tell me about it." Wufie said, standing in the doorway. When did he get here? He glanced over at me and smiled. "Relena. Always a pleasure."

"Take a seat Wufie. Duo? Please." He gestured towards some open seats at the dining room table.

"Heero, how come Quatre can't just hand over the records you need?" Duo asked, plopping down next to me. So they didn't know. "Why do I have to work undercover, sneak in, hack through, when I could just be at home with my babe eating pizza and snoozing late into the morning hours?"

"Quatre is the target."

Both men froze. I understood the response. Quatre? Not sweet, friendly Quatre. What could he have possibly done? Why must we sneak around his back?

Quatre could fool anyone.

Wufie quickly stood up. "No way. I am not going against another gundam pilot. We're brothers Heero. Brothers. What the fuck did Quatre do? If you need some information that he has, ask. I'm sure he'll give it over. Going behind his back is wrong."

"He crossed the line." I was thankful for Heero's discernment to keep silent on the particulars. "We have one night to access his records. Trowa is currently working on his bank accounts from another location."

I was surprised at that. When did Heero plan all of this? We had been together all day sitting here in silence.

"Wufie, I need you here, ready to give directions and take information from Duo's reports; who, should be leaving this very second. Duo. Get in, get out. Nothing fancy, do you understand?"

Duo sighed, but smiled none the less. "You ruin everything."

"No." Wufie shrugged. "No. Not against one of our brothers. You have Trowa working on his bank information? What are you going to do Heero? Take his money?" Wufie certainly was strong in his loyality. "And you Relena! His own wife? I demand to know exactly what boundaries Quatre crossed to cause his friends and wife to turn on him. Now."

"Fuck." Heero growled, shoving himself away from the table, and silently strode around the room. I swallowed when he reached for my arm, pulling the sleeve up revealing Quatre's accomplishments of ugly blue and pink spots. "Quatre _crossed _the line. Understand?"

Wufie stared at my arm for a long minute. Duo leaned against the wall and sighed deeply.

"Quatre did this?" Duo asked.

"Relena?" Wufie finally asked. He picked up my arm, his thumb barely brushing the surface of the skin. He was careful not to apply any pressure to the sore spots. "Quatre. He did this to you?"

I felt breathless. "Yes."

"There are more marks. Those spots on her arms are nothing compared to the deep cuts across her thighs." Heero said from the corner.

"Shit." Duo whispered. "Brother or not, we're kicking his ass when he gets back from his trip, right?"

"Relena," Wufie whispered. "Let us confront him, let us make this right. But we shouldn't destroy him- he is one of the most powerful men around. We need his cooperation."

"Yes, we do." Heero said. "That is why we're shifting the power over back to Relena."

Duo looked confused. "By taking his records? I don't think so Heero. Because I'm pretty sure he has a hard copy."

"No." I said. "We're taking everything. Leaving him with nothing but a failed career." I felt proud to say that. Finally some jutice. "Wufie, we take the power from him, and weild it for true progression."

"I don't know about this." Wufie finally let go of my arm. "He is my brother."

"Wufie? Quatre said no to your proposal. He will never help the Preventors. Ever. He was furious when I asked."

He looked towards Heero, seeing him nod in agreement. Shoving his hands in his pockets he turned towards Duo. "You have thirty minutes until you clock on."

I smiled. Relieved to have Wufie working for our side, even if it was to help push his own agenda.

"Relena?" Heero came and touched my shoulder. "You have less than an hour to pack."

Pack? What? "Why?" I blurted. "Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you away from here." was all he said.

"But…" I gasped as he pulled me out the chair. "Shouldn't we stay to help? I might have information that could aid Duo."

At the sound of his name, Duo glanced over and smiled apologetically as he watched Heero pull me out of the room. Sweet, poor Duo. Never one to cross Heero.

He gave a wave before the door shut- leaving me with Heero pushing me down the hall.

"No. You're leaving." He stepped close to me, pushing me towards the wall.

"Heero, I can't just up and leave. I have responsibilities and-" He placed his finger on my lip.

"You are officially on vacation Relena. Pack. Now." I could feel his breath against my cheek.

"Can you," I swallowed, "Can you at least tell me where we're going?"

"To my cabin." He pulled back.

I felt foolish then. Foolish because I was working so hard against Heero. Making every step more and more difficult. Yes, I needed to leave. Yes, hell I needed a vacation.  
And yes, Heero Yuy had a cabin that I never knew of. What kind of a best friend was I?

"Where will you be?" I asked, defeated.

He looked confused. "With you of course."

And with that he spun around and headed back to the dining hall where I could hear Duo and Wufie arguing over the application of applying a fake mustache.

The bruises on my arms ached. The cuts on my thighs stung. And the swell of emotion in my chest erupted until I was finally bawling and laughing hysterically at the same time.

Quatre was really going to _kill _me.

* * *

tbc.

I think this chapter was pretty short, sorry.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

-blurr


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